My boyfriend is the shit. Coolest fucking dude ever. Yells at clients at Rikers Island to get them to cooperate — calls me saccharine pet names. Serves people papers — buys my drinks at bars. Helps El Salvadorians get asylum — picks me up from work wearing a suit.
And leaves comments on my articles like this one: “If he really used a BB gun, a charge of Rob 1. cannot be sustained. The spokesman for district attorney’s office be fibbin’ yo!”
Watching True Romance makes me feel like I took a wrong turn somewhere.
This may come as a shock to some of you, but I miss business class. There - I said it.
M&Ms - Blink 182
90s punk all the time. I never outgrew it.
Because when I’m with you there’s nothing I wouldn’t do | I just want to be your only one
dear jesus, please bring john to new york with that other band (or whatever he said would take him here before his phone cut out) so we can bicker and engage in public histrionics as we were wont to do in the streets of oshkosh and i can lovingly introduce him to business associates as john mayer.
OPEN IN CASE OF 1994.
Are there some votes for Gingrich in there, too?
LOL. via Reddit.
View from the floor-to-ceiling window of my room at the Fairmont Pittsburgh.
Today I gave my two weeks’ notice, and everyone was really sad. Am I crazy to leave my awesome neighborhood and job and work long thankless hours for a newspaper in Brooklyn for no money? Maybe, I guess. I’m just really touched by everyone’s support. My boss said, “You were the only copy editor we’ve had that I liked,” and I felt like I broke up with him. We’re having farewell drinks next week.
“If you were going to give the United States of America an enema, you’d stick the hose right here in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.”
I’m actually visiting the steel town of yore this weekend for a fancy hotel press trip. The guest list does not include any men, or so I’ve gleaned from the e-mails. One lady’s last name is Shakespeare. I hope that Shakespeare likes to party.
(From my new favorite documentary “Hitman Hart: Wrestling with Shadows.”)
Hey otterpop what kinda mischief are you causing today? You are quite the temptress my green little friend. Do you even have a permit to look like that? I may have to write you a ticket.
— Someone sent this to my friend on OkCupid.
Whenever I feel that things are becoming unbearably ridiculous or exasperating, someone else’s memory pops into my head. Hilariously, it’s his line of adolescent furor during a math lesson. In elementary school, he stood up in the middle of the class and cried, “When is this fucking hell ever going to end?!” Indeed. It’s a rhetorical question for the ages.
